Silently They Waited...


My carcass lay as a feast for the jackals
Living still, but only the 
silent observer of the carnage
Watching them devour what they 
perceived as the best of me
Not feeling, not caring, only 
waiting for the end
Devoid of attachment to
 my own being or life
My acceptance exposed more
 with each wound laid bare upon me
Oceans of time have passed
 between the beginning and the end
You heard my screams in 
the great silent nothingness
Once again you return to
 my life with petitions of living
Imparting words of something 
within that necessitates the greatness of
life
Screeching platitudes of must,
 shrieking clichés of reasoning and why
Refusing to allow me to leave 
what I no longer want... the living world
Dragging my soul back to the feast, 
impediment to my wishes of release
What right have you to presume
 to know what is best for me
Postulating your archaic religious
 fears on my choice to be devoured
Do not listen for my voice in the 
ethers
Do not hear my supplications for the end to come
The whores and the king of 
the beasts have had their meal
Soon the vultures will clean the table of the mighty
And I will be allowed to drift to the end of me
Do not presume that I wanted
 anything more than love from life
I am now the gratification of all that is profane
Soon I will be the monument to the unholy
Do not listen for my tears falling to the chasm
Friendship gives you no right to force life back upon me
Mock me not when you tell me love for him was a dream
Let me disunite from life in 
silent howls for what was once
The one true love of my life
 who now leads the pack of the depraved
Once forever, now for never...


-------------------------------
In Silent Tears as I Write This While Betrayal is Occurring

Sitting beyond his front door,
Watching both their parked autos,
House empty, dark, and foreboding,
I force my heart to die,
As I watch the home
Where the man I have loved
So well and so long for this decade
Is now locked in his bedroom
Hour after hour, behind this very door
While these very minutes tick into history
With another man's wife,
Who believes she is home in his castle,
Baking him pies and keeping his children.
No other way could he realize
To inform me he has chosen.
Better a stolen hour a day
With someone else's love,
Than a lifetime with me.
Better to cuckold an innocent man,
Than to keep the commandments.
Better to wound himself spiritually,
Than to walk to with integrity.
Better to have the ego fed with lies,
Than to face the reality of life and truth.
Words of intimate love spoken only days ago
Now prove to be nothing more than vacant lies.
How simple the subduer.
How easily the innocent is slaughtered.
Slatterns only have to say I love you,
But I can never leave my husband,
And a lifetime of honest true love,
Is forfeited for the fantasy.
Blood seeps into my lungs
As my heart races to implosion,
And I feel the death rattle,
I know the murder of me is complete,
I can now mourn for the dead.